Dear Old Fuckers.

We are all here for the same reason: some nerd in our lives needs a holiday video fix. I get it. None of us wants to be doing this on Saturday. Least of all these beleaguered salesdudes who, no doubt, got to work at 6 AM on the heels of a grueling all-nighter of Call of Duty which ended at 5:59 AM.

But you know what? The rest of us are all standing here in line. Orderly. Quietly. Waiting. No one believes that you cut in line because you “called here earlier” and “some guy promised to have everything on hold.”

To be clear. Calling a store in advance (allegedly) does not give you the right to cut in line when you actually GET to the store. I mean, I needed to make sure that the store had a DS 3-D. I WAS just going to stop at the counter and briefly ask if they had them in stock before I got in line. But you were sucking all of the oxygen out of the room taking up so much time that I decided to just get in line and wait. Once I realized that you somehow believed that having made a phone call to this store entitled you to cut in line, I decided to use my cell phone to call the guy who was helping you and make sure that they had the DS. So that infuriating delay that you experienced? The phone call that he took? Yeah, that was me.

Merry Christmas, Dicks.


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