Dear Lawyers:

You know how every time you have to hire a lawyer they’re always humorless and full of themselves and never listen to you even though you’re the one who owns your business and then the one idea you told them on the first day ends up being the lynchpin for your whole situation and how after billing you 250k they retell you that same idea as if it was theirs but then you think to yourself… hey, these fuckers are costing me, like, four hundred an hour, you know, they must be doing SOMETHING right, but then you see them at a formal event and they do an awkward line dance that’s so dorky it makes you want to sue every lawyer you ever had to get all your legal fees back but the problem is that the only person who can help you get your money back is another lawyer? 

That. 

SS