DEAR HOT CHICK

  
Dear Hot Chick:
It would be difficult for me to adequately impart to you the level of excitement I experienced only moments ago as I was literally RACING to this amazing place called “Cereality” to wolf down a pre-flight bowl of “S’more Than You Know” a delectable melange of Golden Grahams, Cocoa Puffs, mini marshmallows and chocolate chips served with whole milk, until I saw you out of the corner of my eye, standing with perfect posture in line at Peet’s Coffee preparing, no doubt, to drink some kind of detox tea has negative calories, before you fly to your Pilates conference in San Diego. 

Result? Instant buzz kill. Suffice it to say I am now eating the last two Mexican lime peanuts I found in the bottom of my purse, drinking a five dollar bottle of water and deluding myself into believing that my arms will look like yours in time for my wedding. Please do the world a favor and put on the one pair of clean (ish) sweatpants you have on the bottom of your closet floor along with that one black top that turned brown due to cheap detergent use, like the rest of us. It’s 5 am for God’s sake.

SS

PS. My hair doesn’t even look that good at 5 pm. You win life. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s