Dear Bruce Springsteen:
I know they call you “The Boss” but that seems like an elitist term for a down to earth, humble guy such as yourself, so  I’ve never understood why you allow it. Unless, of course, you are neither humble, nor down to earth. In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that most of your music is shit. You also continually look like you’re trying to take a shit. And your fake activism bugs the shit out of me. To wit: canceling your show in North Carolina under the pretense that you care about the people of North Carolina. 

Bruce, I have some big problems with the logic here. First of all, how, exactly, this law you are ostensibly protesting, affects gay people. I understand how it affects transgendered people. But I have never had a very clear understanding of why or how these two communities are tied together. Gay people are attracted to people of the same sex. But they aren’t questioning their own sexual identity. In fact, it seems to me that use of the term “same sex marriage” is predicated upon the fact that both people know A: which sex they are and B: that they are both the same sex. Hence the term “same sex.” I don’t particularly care one way or the other about people’s feelings of personal gender identity, I mean, whatever. You feel like a dude? Become a dude. You feel like being a chick? Great. Be a chick. But what does this have to do with being attracted to a person of the same sex? Why is the fate of the lesbian and gay community bound to the fate of the transgender community when the former, by definition, REQUIRES that you know what gender you are? These seem like entirely separate issues and continually tying them together obscures the individual obstacles that each group faces. How does it advance any level of understanding to suggest that a bathroom law is anti gay? This law CANNOT BE anti gay when being gay requires you to gender identify. From all accounts, the only specific measures taken by these morons in the state legislature were with regards to bathroom use, and minimum wage. Neither of which is specific to the gay community. 

But, the plot, much like the giant dumps you are always straining to take while onstage, thickens. It is UNBELIEVABLE that statists like you, who love big government, are suddenly upset that the state legislature is eclipsing the power of the city of Charlotte. You guys LOVE it when small groups are decimated by the power of the state. Only the problem with allowing the state and federal government to make all the decisions is that when those elected people start using that power to enforce ultra restrictive agendas, you’re fucked! You’ve given them too much power! Exactly! NO SHIT! It sucks! Why does the state legislature even have the ability to pass these kinds of laws? BECAUSE FAKE LIBERALS LIKE YOU, WHO ARE ACTUALLY STATISTS, HAVE BEEN ADVOCATING THE EXPANSION OF STATE AND FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SINCE THE END OF WORLD WAR TWO! 

In other words: Fuck you, Bruce! It’s guys like you who got us here! You’re so unintelligent that you don’t understand that your demands for more and bigger government are now making it impossible for any kind of local grassroots movements to take hold, which may advance the very agendas you claim to care about! The people of Charlotte are fine with transgendered people! Only now that city can’t allow them to use the bathroom of their choice because the STATE won’t allow it. And your solution is to punish your fan base, even though CLEARLY many of them were attempting to protect transgenders? You’re a dumbshit. Seriously. Here’s an idea. Have the concert anyway and donate the proceeds to whatever cause it is you claim to support! Or better yet, have a free concert and tell people they can piss and shit wherever they want while you’re playing! If there’s anything I’m sure of, it is that listening to your music makes me want to drop a deuce as close to you as humanly possible. Maybe all that unbridled defecation will cause you to finally crap out whatever has been stuck up your ass for the past thirty years. 

SS 

PS. You’re a dick.