DEAR STONE SLADE

Dear Stone Slade:
Until today, mercifully I had absolutely no idea who you are. For some bizarre reason, you were so offended by the fact that I ripped into a couple of self absorbed festival assholes on this blog, that you spent your entire day writing me lengthy commentary, going so far as to call me a “closeted pedophile” and a “perv” ostensibly because you object to the fact that my blog featured a public picture I had taken with two young adults in the background. You repeatedly insisted that you believed these two people to be somewhere between the ages of “10 and 13.”
Well, Stone, a little light Internet research revealed you to be some kind of failed reality show “actor” from a short lived cable series called “Modern Dads”, which focused on four dudes who live in Austin, and stay at home with their children. Get it? It’s all there in the title! You’re “modern” because “dads” usually work outside the home! So clever! Staying at home is an embarrassing, archaic waste of time for women, but somehow becomes progressive and cool when a man of your caliber decides to stop competing with actual men who have working cocks, and instead stays at home with his child and a film crew. See how that works? Men being filmed doing what women do gives what women do legitimacy!
So really, how DARE I argue with you after all you’ve done to advance the cause of stay at home moms? I should be thanking you! If ANYONE knows about parenting and children, it’s you! If you think these two are “pre-teens” I’m sure you’re right. After all, not just ANY stay at home dad takes his five year old daughter and a film crew to his vasectomy appointment. If ANYONE is an expert on the inappropriate exploitation of children for entertainment purposes, it’s Stone Slade! No wonder you wasted an entire day on this ridiculous, obscure blog post. You thought I was on your turf! You are Austin’s official ambassador of child exploitation!
Never fear, SS. Your title as Austin’s most exploitative parent remains unchallenged.
Look at the picture in question again. See those WHITE WRISTBANDS, issued by the ACL festival, required to buy alcohol, that both of the oblivions I wrote about are sporting on their right wrists? The same one I had on my wrist when I was there?

No, Stone. That’s the LEFT wrist. Have your daughter help you.

The OTHER wrist.

Yes.


That one.
You have to be twenty-one to get one of those wristbands. I mean, I’ll grant you there are a fair amount of fake IDs out there. But somehow, I don’t think a 10-13 year old child could pull that off.
Then again, I’m not the “expert” that you are.
Get a fucking life. For real. I don’t even care about this blog as much as you do. If you don’t like what I write, do what all the “fans” of your “show” did, and tune the fuck out.

SS

12 thoughts on “DEAR STONE SLADE

  1. I’ve just discovered your blog….or web page or whatever the fuck it’s called. I’ve read a few, and I think it’s safe to say that I have found the female version of me……only good looking.

    We’d either be damn good partners in crime or we’d kill one another with sarcasm and one liners.

    Keep up the good work!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooooh not so Stealthie Sadie…

      I told you I was done but you just had to keep going…

      You gotta love someone that just talks out of their ass like you do. After seeing your ugly hairy “man” I can totally see why this angry little internet troll is so angry. I’ve been through the national media ringer so your nothing blog is just that… nothing.

      I’m sorry you were so offended by me giving my 2 cents on your bitchy take on people at festivals. Yes I do see the white wristbands… my confusion there comes from the fact that my wristband for buying alcohol was a RED wristband with the Real Ale logo on it. You can say whatever you want but that little girl you decided to take a picture of and blast on the internet still looks 10-13 years old to me.

      I guess there’s basically four types of festival people…

      1. The Troopers: these people are usually but not always much younger than me, push their way towards the front and can stand up all day long.

      2. The Campers: these are the ones that bring the comforts of home and set up a basecamp pretty far from the stage. Anything more than a blanket and couple chairs is overboard.

      3. The Roamers: (this is me) those that don’t bring much and like to move from friend camp to friend camp. Sometimes lounging in #2’s camp and sometimes standing as close to the stage as you can get without being completely packed shoulder to shoulder.

      4. This Bitch Brenda Barger: that realizes she hates everything about the festival, especially those that are having fun around her… so they just bitch

      I already explained to you that I’m not a “stay at home dad”… I had no spouse at work while I stayed home and took care of my kids. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to work from my home office so I don’t have to stick my kids in daycare… I’m really not sure you think that affect the functionality of my cock?

      It’s pretty funny you think our viewers “tuned the fuck out”… our show broke new show premiere records for the A&E network and averaged 2 million viewers through our 9 episodes… we didn’t renew because of some internal bullshit between cast members. It was an overall awesome experience and I would totally do it again.

      I didn’t seek out this tv opportunity, they came to me. Why is it you think our kids were exploited? They were mostly playing on the set in the background of scenes and didn’t do the publicity circuit with us. Our show wasn’t some drama trainwreck like Real Housewives, etc… I also already told you that there’s not much reality in reality tv. I wouldn’t take my kid with me to a vasectomy appointment… that was a set up scene you dumb twat. My daughter shot her scene for about 10 minutes and then left with our nanny while I shot mine. For you to talk shit in a previous reply about my 5 year old daughter’s hair is way out of line even for an angry cunty bitch like yourself. I could totally talk shit about your two little future cunts in the matching Dead & Co shirts with their disgusting mother that’s almost 50 with her breasts hanging out of her shirt… yea, you’re pretty easy to look up too, even though you’ve tried so hard to hide behind this bitchy blog with the name Stealthie Sadie.

      You should just name your blog: I’m an angry cunty bitch named Brenda Barger that does shitty landscaping under the name Brenda Barger Landscape Design 712 Wayside Drive; Austin, Texas 78703; Office/Fax 512-391-1722; Cell 512-970-6533; brendabarger@icloud.com

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      1. Sounds like someone needs a life. Pull your panties out of your man twat and go find something constructive to do. Stay at home dad. Lol.

        Like

      2. Stone.
        Sweetheart.
        You’re clearly taking all of this very personally. I feel like I have to explain to you that you just can’t defend yourself against an online caricature of someone who doesn’t give a fuuuuuuck. Do I have to break it down further?
        ……….Then again, I guess keep the reactions coming. Whatever. I’ve got lots of popcorn. THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS YO. #OHNOSHEDIDNT #fightfightfight #RealityTVstarTurnsRealityInternetStar #hashtag #realtalk

        Love the blog, Stealthy Sadie!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Girl, you are fucking funny! Hell yeah, please keep writing how you feel if ppl can’t catch your comedy it’s because their uncomfortable with your fearlessness to say whatever the fuck you want. Coincidence that a male not a female was so “offended” by you? Boy BYE.

    Like

  3. A. His mother, who must have been a huge romance novel aficionado to bestow such a name, must be incredibly sad to see her progeny turn into a whiny little bitch boy.
    B. When are those two caterpillars on his forehead going to cocoon in order to become beautiful butterflies?

    Like

  4. I’m still trying to figure out if “Stone Slade” is his porn name, witness protection name, or if he was born from one of those so called 10-13 year olds that festival…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh boy! This one was enough to get me to start reading your blog regularly (Stealthie Sadie, not the other retarded ingrate).

    Thank you, oh thank you.

    pg

    Like

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