Dear Stone Slade:
Until today, mercifully I had absolutely no idea who you are. For some bizarre reason, you were so offended by the fact that I ripped into a couple of self absorbed festival assholes on this blog, that you spent your entire day writing me lengthy commentary, going so far as to call me a “closeted pedophile” and a “perv” ostensibly because you object to the fact that my blog featured a public picture I had taken with two young adults in the background. You repeatedly insisted that you believed these two people to be somewhere between the ages of “10 and 13.”
Well, Stone, a little light Internet research revealed you to be some kind of failed reality show “actor” from a short lived cable series called “Modern Dads”, which focused on four dudes who live in Austin, and stay at home with their children. Get it? It’s all there in the title! You’re “modern” because “dads” usually work outside the home! So clever! Staying at home is an embarrassing, archaic waste of time for women, but somehow becomes progressive and cool when a man of your caliber decides to stop competing with actual men who have working cocks, and instead stays at home with his child and a film crew. See how that works? Men being filmed doing what women do gives what women do legitimacy!
So really, how DARE I argue with you after all you’ve done to advance the cause of stay at home moms? I should be thanking you! If ANYONE knows about parenting and children, it’s you! If you think these two are “pre-teens” I’m sure you’re right. After all, not just ANY stay at home dad takes his five year old daughter and a film crew to his vasectomy appointment. If ANYONE is an expert on the inappropriate exploitation of children for entertainment purposes, it’s Stone Slade! No wonder you wasted an entire day on this ridiculous, obscure blog post. You thought I was on your turf! You are Austin’s official ambassador of child exploitation!
Never fear, SS. Your title as Austin’s most exploitative parent remains unchallenged.
Look at the picture in question again. See those WHITE WRISTBANDS, issued by the ACL festival, required to buy alcohol, that both of the oblivions I wrote about are sporting on their right wrists? The same one I had on my wrist when I was there?

No, Stone. That’s the LEFT wrist. Have your daughter help you.

The OTHER wrist.

Yes.


That one.
You have to be twenty-one to get one of those wristbands. I mean, I’ll grant you there are a fair amount of fake IDs out there. But somehow, I don’t think a 10-13 year old child could pull that off.
Then again, I’m not the “expert” that you are.
Get a fucking life. For real. I don’t even care about this blog as much as you do. If you don’t like what I write, do what all the “fans” of your “show” did, and tune the fuck out.

SS