DEAR HURRICANE HARVEY HEROINE

  Dear Hurrricane Harvey Heroine: I don’t have very many life goals. Or any. But if I DID, being a big enough badass to be chilling in a recliner, rocking a Flashdance style  off the shoulder top, wearing no bra, and calmly finishing a needlepoint project as filthy flood water rises, threatening to choke the life out of me, would be at the top of the list. You are my new life mentor/only old person I like since my grandmother died at age 101 on the heels of winning her nursing home Wii Bowling Championship. Get it, grandma. SS PS. … Continue reading DEAR HURRICANE HARVEY HEROINE

DEAR BILL CLINTON

Dear Bill Clinton: At first, I wasn’t sure. I mean, I WAS sure. In the sense that there is really no one else on earth who could pull off something so obvious and yet remain completely undetected. And believe me, I get it. No dude wants to spend his golden years under the thumb of his wife/business partner/pimp/possible baby mama, forced by executive order to listen to how much better her Secretary of Defense is than yours was (yawn), tolerate the endless droning about how your repeal of Glass-Steagall made her a virtual slave to Goldman (snore), let alone her … Continue reading DEAR BILL CLINTON