DEAR DR. ORAL

Dear Dr. Oral: Ok.  I could just stop right there. I mean, I kind of want to. Because in a way, I feel like the fact that you expect ANYONE IN THE WORLD to take you seriously in the field of medicine in general, let alone the field of pediatrics, with the name “DR. ORAL” strains credulity. But, after doing a little research on you, I see that you are originally from Turkey, so that explains your complete lack of both self-awareness and humor. I know, I know, it’s so UNFAIR of me to invade your safe space by pointing … Continue reading DEAR DR. ORAL

DEAR VOTERS

Dear Voters: It’s almost “that time.” When all registered American voters, dead and alive, exercise their will through our process of free elections. It seems like only yesterday that a calm, plastic faced, helmet haired, Ivy League graduate from an odd, misunderstood religious background; automaton “Mitt Romney” was running against a cool, stone faced, aerodynamically perfect haired, Ivy League graduate from an odd, misunderstood religious background; robot “Barack Obama.” Both men; too sophisticated, intellectual and aloof to give America any kind of interesting throwdowns. Class acts. Unwilling to descend in the muck. What a difference four years makes. This year, … Continue reading DEAR VOTERS

DEAR HILLARY

Dear Hillary:  I get it. You don’t want to go on the record. Really, no one does. And who can blame you? Ours is now a nation of narcs, whiners, babies, complainers and people who love the idea of taking extra time during already excruciatingly long athletic contests with “instant replay” in an effort to not have to accept the fact that human error is merely part of every aspect of life, including sports. So the umpire/ref/official may be wrong. Who cares? It’s just a fucking game. If women tried to demand instant replays during the dating process in an … Continue reading DEAR HILLARY